Two nights ago, I laid in bed tossing, turning, adjusting and readjusting my pillow, unable to go to sleep. Over and over my mind reconsidered the events of my day, and the longer I pondered, the more deeply unsettled I felt.
Earlier that day, just before I shut down my computer and left the Pregnancy Center where I work, my boss shot me a quick e-mail and asked me to post a link to Facebook. It was an article urging readers to petition their Virginia state senators concerning a bill that would be voted on the next day. This bill, SB 484, proposed an update to Virginia's "Informed Consent" legislature. Basically, the bill required that every woman seeking an abortion first have an ultrasound performed prior to any procedure. Myself and my friends who work with pregnancy centers know that many women who see the image of their unborn child, already taking the shape of a little person with fingers, toes, legs, and arms, ultimately change their mind and decide against having an abortion. So, that evening I posted the link to Facebook and even sent a pre-written e-mail off to my State Senator asking for their participation in voting in this new bill. This is Virginia, after all, a notoriously conservative haven for advocates of life like me. I had no doubt my petition would be well received by some dark haired, middle aged Republican man somewhere with a slight Southern drawl and an approving smile. And, I went home feeling content that I had done my part as a lover of life. Way to get involved in political advocacy, Natalie. You are a truly an exemplary American citizen.
Yeah. Right. Such an exemplary American citizen am I, that I had no idea who my represented my county in the state senate because I have a history of skipping out on local elections. I learned my lesson when I checked my inbox later on and saw that I had already received a pre-written response to my pre-written letter. But, as I skimmed the opening lines I realized this was not a reply from the charming, blue-blooded, baby-kissing state senator that I'd expected. The representative from my local area is a woman and she supports a woman's right to choose. Her letter expressed that she felt requiring an ultra-sound would be unnecessary, costly, and harmful to a pregnant woman's health and she would therefore, not vote in favor of the SB 484 "Informed Consent" bill. I literally gasped. I scoffed. I scatched my head in disbelief. This woman and I were diametrically opposed in our convictions. And at the end of the day, she is the one who gets to vote in the state senate.
If you're not on the same page as me, let me explain further why this nagged at the very fabric of my being. I love life. I mean, I really really love it. I think every life is valuable, intentionally created, and deserves to a have a go-around on this spinning blue sphere where we live. I love babies. And I love women. And as a counselor, I've seen the painful effects of abortion over and over and over again. It's not just about the ending of an infant's life (which is unjust enough). It is an experience that pierces the souls of women who go through it. It haunts them, hangs on through the years, and rocks them to the very core. It not only has serious physical risks (infertility among them) but it can leave emotional scars that stubbornly refuse to heal decades later. So, when I hear words like "Informed Consent", I interpret this as meaning that a woman has a right to know the risks involved with the path she is choosing. She has a right to see the body in her belly that already has her nose and bears a striking resemblance to a person. A bill asking for Informed Consent wouldn't stop abortion. But it would inform a woman about what's going on in her body before she makes a potentially life altering decision.
I share this with you all, because I can't share this with my state senator Barbara Favola. Additionally, before I hit the hay on the evening of our correspondance, I read about several major corporations that use the cells of aborted fetuses to test and design their products, PepsiCo among them. I realized that this battle is not only to be fought in the chambers of state and national legislators, but also in the corner offices of major companies that stand to benefit from the process of abortion. Like slavery, this systematized de-valuing of human life has penetrated the social, politcal, and economic spheres of our country. And this recognition two nights ago left me feeling very, very small. When I closed my eyes to sleep that night, I saw an ummovable, impenetrable wall in front of me growing larger by the moment, as state and national senators and representatives and Pepsi and seeminly a million others all lay their bricks on top of this fortress. I thought of David standing in front of Goliath with a small stone and a sling.
And then I remembered who won that battle. And, I think it will help me sleep a little more peacefully tonight.
